I should straighten my bangs, I don’t want that annoying little flip in the front. Should I dress up? Nah. What time should I go? The movie is at 5:45, so I should go at 5:05 so I can be waiting. All right, I think I’ve got this down. What if her mom comes in with her? Dude, you’ve already met her parents several times, what difference does it make now? Her dad is so scary, though…
I got in my car, heart beating. Out of nowhere, it hit me. Just act normal and be yourself… just kidding, you’re in public for God’s sake don’t be yourself.
I arrived at the movie theater at 5:05 just to make sure she didn’t sneak in and buy her ticket before I could.
Boom, another thing hits me. Last time I invited her to the movies she showed up five minutes before the movie started. Well, it’s a good thing I brought my iPod, so I will just listen to that and act like I don’t exist.
Fifteen minutes passed and she still hadn’t shown up. Normally I wouldn’t mind waiting, but I never really inherited the whole “I love little kids” gene from my family and the little things were everywhere at the Warren.
I was sitting on one of those pillar things, the ones the kids like to run around, and there was this one kid who just wouldn’t stop. The mother was death glaring me nearly the entire time, seeing as I had been sitting there for the entire time she had been there and I hadn’t even shown signs of moving other than to get out of the way of her annoying little kid. Eventually she reached a breaking point and decided that I had to be a perverted child predator.
“I saw you looking at my kid,” she said.
“Yes, I looked at your kid because he has been running around that pillar for the last 10 minutes. Usually kids get tired of that eventually,” I said with a laugh, thinking it was a joke.
“Are you sure you weren’t eye-ing him up?”
“Excuse me, but what?”
“You’re just a pervert, aren’t you? Here to get all them innocent little kids.”
“No, ma’am, I’m actually waiting for someone.”
“Is that someone a little kid?”
“No, she’s 15.”
“What are you, then? Eighteen? That’s still perverted.”
“Ma’am, do I look 18 to you? No, I’m 16.”
“Oh, so you do like young girls.”
I decided to move to the other end of the movie theater.
The employees at the Warren, a few of which I knew, decided that rather than helping me get away from this clearly paranoid woman, they would just sit back and enjoy the show. I can’t blame them, after all, enjoying a show in a movie theater is pretty standard.
All right, 5:25. Surely she has got to be here relatively soon, right? Wait, I can just text her.
“Are you almost here?”
“Yeah… well we haven’t left yet and my mom’s not ready.”
Great, I’ll be lucky is she’s here by the time the movie has even started.
At 5:40, the person I had been waiting for finally walked in the door. I got up, handed her her ticket, and we went into the movie theater.
I can be extremely sassy if you text me, something that will most likely never show up in my personality when I’m talking to someone new. Although she’s not someone new, she is the one exception to this rule. Because of this, we engaged in a 60 second battle of “You choose where to sit,” until she finally lost. I can be very stubborn.
After a brief discussion and both of our realizations that we had no idea what “Frozen” was even about, I put on my glasses so I could see the screen better.
“Oh-ho-ho.”
“Hmm?”
“I thought you just put on aviators and I was gonna have to kill you.”
“What? No, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Yes, you would.”
Yes, I figured, I would definitely do that to her; however, I would not quite yet.
After the movie, we waited for her dad to pick her up and I got a short lecture on how I shouldn’t be wearing a T-shirt when it was 16 degrees out.
Though I’m sure I had my typical bored look on my face, I was extremely happy until her dad finally arrived to pick her up.
I hope with all my heart that I can do this all again.
