I never thought that last Friday would be my last day ever walking out of those old blue doors. Behind those old blue doors the last four years of my life were held.

High school wasn’t exactly a great time for me, but looking back it was a time of growth and some pretty great things happened. Behind those old blue doors, I found myself. I learned how important it is to take care of myself. I learned the importance of my faith in Christ. I found some amazing friends, and I found the people who I don’t wanna be like. I lived and laughed but also cried.

The opportunity through Maize High that I was given was like none other, and as I go off to college next year, I will never forget what I learned behind those old blue doors. I never thought I’d be one to miss high school and maybe I’m not, but not getting the chance to say goodbye properly is hard. I wish I had one more day to walk down those halls and hear the choir song in the atrium even if it annoyed me sometimes.

One more day to tell my favorite staff members how much they meant to me (shout-out Mrs. Shurts, Mrs. Schrum, Mrs. Jackson, Mr. Loving, Floria, Roxanne, Dr. Botts, Broadbent, literally anyone in the office, the list goes on and on). One more day to smile at miss Floria and Roxanne. Another day to be with my peers and laugh through class, another day to make memories.

There’s so many memories and things I can think of I’ll miss and never experience again. I always wished for high school to be over, but now that it’s happened like this, I don’t want it. I was holding onto graduation and so excited for all that senior year would bring even if I hadn’t admitted that now it’s gone and I’m heartbroken. Those old blue doors may have closed on me before I thought they would, but those old blue doors will always hold a piece of my heart as a part of my story.

Not only is life because of school changing so fast because of coronavirus but so is everything else. No more work; laid off. Not more youth group; canceled. No more church; canceled. As everything falls apart, it’s hard to find my peace and hope, believing that this will all be restored.

I’ve always been a firm believer that with everything that happens, God has a plan. Right now it’s hard to remember that and stick by it, but I’m trying my best to find my strength in trust in Jesus through this time. I simply am reminded that it is all his will and not my own, to hold on and trust him when times are tough: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭22:42‬

And as a person who means the world to me said when everything was falling apart:

God, one, won’t put us through something that he hasn’t already been through and, two, won’t put us through something we ultimately can’t handle.

We are helpless without Christ, I hope through this time that not only am I acknowledging how much I need God in my worst but also my best, but others are seeing that without God we are absolutely nothing. Turn to him in this time and praise even in this difficult season.

The world may be falling apart but he has not yet forgotten you, me or anything. We are his children made perfect in his image and he will never stop caring for us, running after us, loving us. Be reminded he hasn’t given up on you, your plan or your world yet and there is better to come.

The chapter of my life with those old blue doors may have shut, but God’s doors to the plans for the rest of my life are now ready to be opened.