For the last few days I have sat in front of the blank screen staring at the thin, black line flashing, tracing my mind for anything other than the one thing crowding every aspect of my mind to write about. But sadly I have failed so here it is,

A letter to the girl with the broken heart,

Your junior year in high school you met, what you thought, was the guy of your dreams. The guy you has a semi strong feeling would be in your life until you were buried 7 feet under with a stone reading your name. As a junior in high school it’s hard to know exactly what love is, but after a couple months of labeling yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend it was the closest thing you have felt to being in love. Your heart would race when you saw him walking down the hall, or when he would grab your hand in the crowded restaurant and guided you through the tables and chairs, or when he would tell you how beautiful you looked before the fancy date, or even a text message you would reread over and over again. After a few more months you had already been through a couple of arguments and maybe one bigger one that always left the worry of not being good enough, not doing enough, or ruining the one thing you were not, but somehow were searching for your short life. You would apologize time and time again and lose pieces of yourself as the months went on scared of losing the one thing that made you feel less alone. You spent most of your time making sure that he was happy, felt loved and cared for, and knew you were there. Whenever there was a time to hang out you didn’t once second guess it, or debate on where to go, you ended up right by his side every time. You two would talk about your future together, the big house, with a few dogs running through the giant backyard and the kids in the living room. His family became like your family, and yours like his. Everything was going better than you ever imagined it would and you gave him your whole heart and more before you even knew it. When you didn’t have any more of your heart to give him, you took other pieces of yourself and added it to his collection, and you never once thought twice about it because losing yourself was easier than losing him.

But dear girl with a broken heart,

He left. And while you never once thought twice about giving up yourself for him, he was already taking the little pieces of his heart he gave you back slowly. He was distancing himself while you were giving more time and attention to him. He was slowly using your heart as a back up in order to keep his safe. He left once and came back, but you already knew in your mind that he would do it again. But your heart was so invested that listening to people tell you not to do it was just too hard to hold onto. So you did it again and let him take a little bit more of you, because it was worth it. Then it all ended.

He decided it was time for him to take the little pieces of his heart back and take what you put into it and leave. Without warning. Without much reason. With an excuse that left you confused and broken in ways that you couldn’t even understand. He left and you realized that you shut everything else off and he had become your world. You didn’t really have friends, because all of your time was invested in him. You didn’t have much of a plan for the rest of your life because before it was with all of his dreams and goals written into it. You didn’t just lose someone you called your boyfriend for a year, you lost your happiness that came with him, you lost parts of yourself that you gave him, and you lost that feeling of knowing what love was.

But lastly to the girl with the broken heart, You are strong, loved, beautiful, and will find someone who is willing to lose parts of themselves for you as much as you are for them. You will find someone who will make time for you, and doesn’t care if that means spending everyday with you by their side. You will find someone who is willing to think about your dreams and goals when it comes to their future. You will find yourself again, and probably add more than those missing pieces. Do not be sorry for giving everything you have, and loving with all your heart. Do not apologize for being you. Do not apologize because he was unable to see how much he was losing when he decided you were not worth his time. He will realize what he lost when you have already picked yourself up and found the love within yourself that you were missing over the years. The love that can not be passed around from hand to hand, but can only be given to one person, yourself. Your heart may be breaking now, but once all of the tiny cracks get glued back together you will be ready to love again, and it’ll be even better than the first time.